i had the most exciting, most unforgettable vacation ever!i never expected that this 4-days-3-nights-trip to be so much FUN! But it WAS!i'm finally able to rest, recharge and BREATHE!

I together with GrandMe, GrandDad, Mel, Jay, Jeff2x, Ebs, Cam, Dave, Anne, and Kier spent 3 days and 2 nights in Oslob. We drove for 4 hours before we arrived. we stayed at Father Tapic's resthouse. It was soo beautiful. The beach. The sunset. The sunrise. The cottage. The food. The wind. EVERYTHING! ^^

1st day (sunday, 5:30 pm)
We took a tour at Father Tapic's resthouse.

Next, Mel, Jay, Dave and Jeff, jumped in the water to see if the length of the water of the beach is high enough so that it will be safe for us to jump. It was, but it was also getting dark so they were the only ones who got to swim in the beach and then we ate. It was too dangerous at night and we didn't have enough light.
We listened to some music in the cottage and bonded.
My mom, Mami Guyang, ate Shiela, ate Kathleen, ate Arian, and two other guys arrived a couple of hours after we were settled in. They only stayed until dawn. They left at about 4:00 in the morning. They didn't even get to swim and I was asleep half the time they were there. It was really too bad. Well, maybe next time.

2nd day (Monday)
We went to Santander to buy some stuff and just look around.
We had our own photoshoot and fashion show back in Oslob. Vain, I know, but it was our own way of bonding and making memories. "Time to Strut and walk down the fashion ramp or in this case, cottage ramp. LoL ^^
Finally, after a whole day of waiting we finally had our time to swim. it was still morning and cloudy and the water was high enough to be safe so we swam, jumpped, had fun and enjoy to our heart's content.
We slept a little early than usual becuase we had to wake up at dawn since we have to go to Panimungajan. Our time at the beach came to an end and we thought it would be nice to try to swim in the pool this time.
To Panimungajan we shall go! ZZzz..

3rd day (Tuesday)
After cleaning up and packing our stuff back in the car, we settled in and drove for 3 hours to Panimungajan.

We had a few pit stops because, first, Jay got car sick; second, the boys had to go pee; third, we had to buy the famous Tortado de Santander, the specialty of Santander and other snacks because we got hungry.
The rode was so bumpy and i think most of us woke up on the wrong side of the bed that morning so we didn't feel up to celebrating once we found the place we were looking for.
We stayed at a place called Hidden Valley and let me tell yah this resort lives up to its name. Its really hidden. We had to ask 3-4 times for directions before we finally arrived. BUT, looking at the place i think it was all worth it. It was so beautiful and BIG! They had a total of 5 swimming pools, so many houses to check in, a lake, a butterfly sanctuary, beautiful scenery, KTV bar, playground and so much more. We were supposed to stay for only a few hours and go home after that but it was too beautiful to pass by so e decided to check in and spend the night there. BUT - and that's a BIG but - they had poor signal coverage. Which means my cell, and everyone else's had no signal, none at all. We asked and they said there's one place that has the best cell site coverage and it's under some mango tree.

The image you see is the mango tree i was telling you about. Honestly, they should not even call it there best signal coverage since we only had 1-2 bars of signal and it wasn't even stable. we had to shake our phones and walk around like an idiot to find the best signal spot.
Thankfully, i was able to text for some time. Oh and the signal was at least more stable at night even though it was only 1-2 bars. At least i was able to send and reply and talk to my friends.

My brothers had basketball practice so they had to go home on that day. They went swimming right away. My best gal pals, Cam and Ebs, spent our hours sitting under the mango tree and trying to contact our textm8s and parents, of course. To assure them that were safe and that were spending the night and to brag about this totally amazing vacation ever, duh.
We weren't able to swim becuase it was getting late and we were lazing around in our cottage. It was too hot outside and we had the aircon all to ourselves. HeHe.
We thought, "There's still tomorrow, right?"
We ate 'sinugbang baboy' and clean up after that.
At night, another session of texting and calling... with unstable signal began.
It rain a little but no rain can stop us from texting. Haha.
We hit the sack at about 10:00. i didn't want to but i have to. The kids, gellie and kier, were already sleepy but they didn't want to go back to the cottage on their own.

4th day (wednesday)
we all woke up at 6 in the morning and went swimming right away.
we had our pictorial session again and had fun with the slide.
after taking a shower we packed our bags and got ready to go home.
before that, we had to go to Lutupan and visit Father Tapic and thank him for such a wondrous vaction at his resthouse. Next stop was back to Pinamungajan to visit Jillian, a cute and shy kid, a relative of ours. After that we headed home with a few pit stops buying baked bananas and eating pizzas at albertos.

Now i'm back HOME. OH, how i miss my room, tv, and computer. i also miss the... SIGNAL! Hehe. I'm currently uploading our 1000+ photos on friendster and writing this blog. Can you believe how vain we are? 1000+ photos in 4 days. HAHA. it's our Vanity Photoshoot.
Welcome to our World.

i've learned and realized a lot of thing and it's all thanks to those people.

~ thank you! ^^ ~
= * (Mmwahh!) = *

this wasn't what i envisioned my summer to start. especially since its the summer before i start my journey as a college student.

i feel so weak and scared. my heart aches. my eyes are sore from all the tears i've shed and the ones i'm shedding right this moment.

i couldn't take it.

i made one BIG mistake!

though it's not life-threatening, it feels as if i've committed some CRIME and i've to face my parents as judges and everyone might as well be the audience and watch how i'm to be punished for my guilty act of STUPIDITY.

you might be wondering what crime i so stupidly committed.

it all happened last week. Holy Friday.

i went with my mom to Ayala and shop for necessities.

Holy Week is about to end it's time for the party to begin. Hello Summer!

or so i thought. i went to try on some maong shorts and suddenly left my pouch in the fitting room. after a few minutes, when we were already at the cashier, it suddenly dawned in me that i wasn't holding anything. i ran back to the fitting room to find out that it was already gone. A customer must have gotten it, we suspected. He was a very lucky customer, indeed. And i'm so very STUPID! i lost my digiC and my cellphone along with a few coins. Argh. it makes me angry at myself just thinking about it. it makes me want to give myself a hard punch on the face. *POW!* if only i could. *sigh*

Honestly, now that it's happened, i'm afraid to go out of my room anymore.

but i have no choice but put up a brave front and face the gossip with a touch of sympathy from the people i know and love.

but even with a facade, i'm still scared.

scared that because of this incident, my parents won't trust in me anymore.

scared that i'll see the eyes of the people i know turn into a pitying gaze whenever we meet.

scared that people will ask me to retell what happened and just add salt to my wounds.

scared that i'll forever be stained by this one mishap.

scared that i'll have to live with a guilty conscience and a heavy heart.

scared that one day i'll finally reach my limit and burst into tears and breakdown then and there - front and center - fall all people to see and take pity on.

how i wish i could just stay in my room until this dies down.

in my room, i feel a lot more safe. i engrossed myself watching dramas, reading books, making sketches... anything. i'm not doing it all just 'cause it's fun but because by doing these things i can't think of anything else except to DO these trivial things. sure, i can do it outdoors but whenever i see anyone i know that feeling of guilt comes back to haunt me in the open, even in broad daylight.

in my room, i can be myself. i can cry till my heart's content without worrying about what others think. i can sleep my heavy heart away. i can reflect on my utter stupidity.

but sadly, i don't have the luxury to laze around in my room. that'll only make mom and dad even more mad at me. that'll only make things worse that worse.

As punishment, my mom makes me help out at our store and...

i don't think i'll be doing anything this summer, except that.

All my plans... gone with just one snap of a finger. *SNAP!*

oh, my mom didn't exactly tell me if this was my punishment but even if she'd agree to let me join on future outings or anything activities, i think i'll still decline.

if i agree, i'd more or less think i'm not worthy enough to be given the privilege. i'd also always wonder when this spoiled-brat-attitude of mine gonna end? i'm such a pampered-stupid daughter who doesn't care about anything except herself.

it clearly shows i'm putting my own self down. i beg pardon. that's how my mind works. that's how i work. i couldn't bear the guilt if i agree. i'm that emotional. *sniff*

it's a good thing i have this blog to turn to.

i can share my thoughts and feelings openly.

but it's still better to have someONE to turn to.

i really need someone to talk to.

i need a listening ear.

i need a shoulder to cry on.

i need someone to give me a big warm hug that can last for hours.

he/she doesn't have to say anything.

i just need him to listen and be there while i pour my heart out.

but sadly, i'm contradicting myself.

i'd want that someone to listen but i don't want his/her pity.

when i see someone pitying me, i'll only feel more guilty.

funny how i'm soo confusing.

anyhow, writing this, made me fell a bit better... for now.

long.. but that's how i truly feel.

P.S.

When you know me and have read this, pls...

i beg you...

don't ask me - in person, text or even chat msgs - questions like...

"huh?", "noh?", "wa jud n.uli?", etc...

i seriously won't make any effort to reply.

i'm sorry. it's not because i'm angry.

it's just that, thinking about what happened, makes me feel even more guilty, sad, and hurt.

i'm aware of the fact that IT'S MY FAULT! i know that already.

i'm already blaming myself and punishing myself for it.

thinking about it will only make me feel worse and blame myself even more.

i hope you understand.

i've shed some light on the incident. for those who have asked me beforehand about what happened, here's your answer.

i don't need to tell you in person and please don't make me.

for my parents, i can't think of anything else except these words, "I'm sorry."

two words that i wish i could say in person without shedding a tear and destroy that brave front i've so painstakingly built to shelter myself and my wounded heart.

for now, i guess, i just have to wait and continue my facade.

time will help me heal.

time will help everyone forget. (though i hope they'd just pretend nothing happened)

time will fix everything.

i must go and rest my swollen, red eyes and aching heart. i've cried too much in a day already.

i'm at my limit and i need to recharge myself so i'll be able to continue my facade in the morning - as a face the world once again.

Happy Holy WEEK!!! ^^

ahh.. a three-night recollection is just what i needed to start off my summer escapade.
"Brother Al, I take my hat off to you." ^^

The nights of Holy Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday - my three nights of re-organization during the recollection - were all but heaven to me.
Brother Al, our speaker, taught us so many wonderful lessons that i was so devastated the night it had finally come to an end.

This is just one of the things from our recollection that i want to share...

Everyone knows that in the olden days women are always inferior to men. They say women are always second class to men. Brother Al, showed us - in a funny way - that men are always first.

You see... When you write...

Woman??
there's always Man.
Female??
there's always Male.
She??
there's always He.

to add off...
He also said MEN are causes to the problems of Women.
For Example...

MENstruation!
MENopause!

ROFL!!! HAHA...

This he related to the story of the CREATION. When Eve was made from Adam.
He said, that's why, in a Family, the Father is always the LOVER and the Mother is always the BELOVED.

It'd be more fun if you were actually there. He was unbelievably FUNNY yet he really put some sense back into me. I realized the importance of so many things. The Eucharistic MASS, the Father Almighty, Jesus, Mama Mary, my FAMILY, my friends and a whole lot more.
It opened my eyes to the BEAUTY of things.
It opened my heart to a whole new UNDERSTANDING.

"WE WANT MORE!" is what i thought we'd say after we departed. I think if i said it out loud, many would in fact AGREE.^^
I want to see those people who flocked to Pardo Church and listen to Brother Al.
I want to see how we hug and greet each time we depart.
I want to see those people filled with tears of joy, of realization that they still have so much to give and offer. I want to see each family there listening intently with hearts wide open and laughing heartily at his jokes. I want to see the eyes of those people who have been touched by Brother Al's messages from God and see their change of heart.
Gosh, i want to see it once again.
I want to listen to more.
I want to realize more.
BUT...
now that it has ended...
i have to go one and learn on my own,
to realize my FAULTS,
to make up for the time i've wasted all these years,
and somehow,
emerge as a new ME
to show to the world who i have and would become - proudly.

i leave for now
As i quote Brother Al's words,
"Father, i have sinned. I'm Sorry. Please forgive me. AMEN!"

I just clicked the 'create a blog' sign
and now this becomes my first entry.

I've never really thought about sharing my thoughts to the world
but somehow this is more convenient than
wasting good paper and ballpen.
If you took the time to read this, then .THANK. YOU.

I'm not much of a writer and my grammar S*C*S (i beg pardon)
so bear with me
as I open my mind to Y-O-U.
I share with you my Thoughts, my Likes and
a little piece of ME and my LIFE.

TT4N! ^^